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How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
The Subconscious Upgrade System
Most people are headed for a future they don’t want and didn’t choose - they feel stuck.
One morning, in my late 20’s, I rolled off my bed, packed my bong and got high like I had every morning that year. 3 hours of video games later, I heard a voice in my head say…
“You’re the only one that can change this.”
I had become addicted to a life I didn’t like. I taught tennis at a “B” level country club, played my violin at low paying gigs just to make rent each month. I was rudderless, without the energy or motivation to do what I knew I was capable of.
The research shows that by the time we’re 35, 95% of our life is a set of automatic routines, habits, thoughts, and emotions. Since humans are wired to survive…
Having a rich, fulfilling, and purposeful life takes a back seat for most people.
Instead, our energy gets sucked into:
Paying bills
Complaining
Hoping things will change
Avoiding or resolving conflict
Making excuses for not doing what we love
Distracting ourselves with soul-sucking screen time
The worst part is, at some level, we know we’re doing this to ourselves.
Obviously, if you don’t change the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you behave… nothing in your life will change for the better.
But, it’s not that easy, because 95% of your life is happening subconsciously.
You don’t realize you’re doing what you’re doing.
This isn’t your fault - you were programmed that way. And most of it happened before you were 6. Your subconscious beliefs were instilled by parents, teachers, friends, and society who have no idea what’s actually best for you.
Subconscious “programming” happens like this:
At a young age We are told how to behave
When we don’t behave, we get in trouble
When we get in trouble, we feel bad, and we’re told to “think about what we did”
Our thoughts create a neural network in the brain.
Our emotions are expressed in the body with a specific hormonal “cocktail”
Our negative emotions lead to more “fear based” thoughts
This created a vicious cycle of negative thinking and feeling
After a few years of this, our body memorizes these negative emotions.
This negative subconscious program now becomes our “permanent” state of being.
This is called classical conditioning in psychology and was how Pavlov “tricked” his dogs into salivating without giving them food.
So, it really isn’t your fault.
However, if you’re reading this, it is your responsibility to change. And that’s exactly what the rest of this newsletter will do for you.
When you intentionally change your subconscious programming to support a life of your dreams you will automatically:
Attract high quality people
Enjoy abundance in every area of life
Radiate charisma, confidence, and certainty
Become stronger, healthier, and more vibrant
Experience true fulfillment while pursuing projects that exhilarate you
I’m going to give you a simple, foolproof method to change your subconscious programming in a second, but there’s one thing I need to warn you about.
Most people quit doing this kind of work. They get uncomfortable. And this happens because:
They don’t know why they’re uncomfortable
Your brain’s primary job is to make sure it doesn’t die.
It doesn’t give a damn if you want to be healthy, wealthy and happy.
In my early 20’s, I was shy, lacked confidence, and was terrible with women. I envied my friends who attracted girls with ease. I got really sick and tired of being lonely.
So, I read books on picking up girls.
I went out with friends to practice my “game”, even though I was petrified. I made a fool out of myself more times than I can remember. I tried just about anything - including telling my future wife that I was a “professional” palm reader.
Her palm said that she was about to fall madly in love. ;)
Your mind will give you countless reasons why you should start tomorrow, why it’s too hard, and why you should open up your cell phone and check on Suzie.
Don’t buy into all of that BS. Beliefs are just thoughts you’ve practiced. Beliefs can be changed.
They don’t imagine the treasures that are on the other side of their discomfort
Fear keeps people in their comfort zone.
Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of disapproval.
This is totally illogical. The unknown is the only place you can create anything meaningful and new.
If you want to create a fulfilling business that can give you freedom, you will eventually need to leave a “comfortable” job, surrender a “guaranteed” paycheck, and take on a whole new level of responsibility.
If you want a deep, loving relationship, you’ll have to be vulnerable.
If you want vibrant health, you’ll have to look at your old habits and decide to change the ones that aren’t serving you.
Their negative beliefs prevent them from examining their negative beliefs
This is the most insidious of them all.
According to Bashar “Negative beliefs have a built-in mechanism that attempt to prevent you from removing them.”
Negative, subconscious beliefs are like professional thieves. They cover their tracks, so they won’t get exposed.
Let’s say you have a belief that you’re not worthy of an amazing life, because:
You betrayed someone
You had a rough childhood
You are a certain race, gender, age, or whatever
Before we get into how these negative beliefs cover their own tracks, read this next part very carefully.
The universe doesn't make mistakes. If the universe didn’t need you, you wouldn’t exist.
You live in a body made of 30 trillion cells, all working in perfect harmony to keep you alive.
We live on a giant rock spiraling through space, in perfect relationship to the sun - which allows all of the species on our planet to exist in a symbiotic ecosystem.
You exist. That alone means you are worthy.
Nothing essential is withheld from you, unless you choose to believe otherwise.
And if you go back to those old beliefs that were keeping you stuck, you’ll be right back on a path to disappointment, frustration, envy, judgment, lack and limitation.
As I said, negative subconscious beliefs do everything in their power to prevent you from discovering them, letting them go, and choosing beliefs you’d prefer.
Let’s say you want to stop drinking alcohol. But, then Friday comes around and your friends want to go out to your favorite bar.
Suddenly, you’re bombarded by your old beliefs.
If I go and don’t drink, my friends will think I’m weird.
I need a drink to steady my nerves
It won’t be fun if I don’t drink
I’m only funny when I’m drunk
And most importantly… “I’m not worthy of a great life”
In “The Easy Way to Control Your Drinking” Alan Carr, dismantles each of these beliefs, one by one… but the key message here is this:
None of your beliefs are empirically true - they just seem that way.
“In order to get something you’ve never gotten, you have to become someone you’ve never been.” - Les Brown
If you want to create heaven on earth for yourself, and others, just use a process I created called:
The Subconscious Upgrade System.
Uncover Your Subconscious Blocks
Carry a notepad and pencil around with you for one week. You’re going to write down every negative thought that comes to you.
This requires a certain level of awareness. The easiest way to develop this awareness is to pay attention to how you feel.
If, all of a sudden, you want to rip someone’s head off - you’re dealing with some negative programming. As soon as you realize you’ve been triggered…
Stop!
You must find out what you’re saying to yourself that’s creating the rage, sadness, frustration you’re experiencing.
The only way you can experience an emotion is with a thought. You must find out what those thoughts are.
This brings me to a crucial step that most people screw up.
You must write your thoughts down. This is non-negotiable… unless, of course you don’t mind being stuck in a shit storm of negativity.
Writing these thoughts and emotions down allows you to:
Objectify them
Create space between you and your thoughts
Take back the control your thoughts and emotions have over you
After 1 week of doing this, you’re going to notice very familiar patterns of thinking and feeling.
Take the three negative emotions you experience the most… and the thoughts you think that create them. We will use these in step 3.
Create a Compelling Vision of Your future
“It’s not hard to get what you want. The hard part is deciding what you want.” - Earl Nightengale
What do you really want?
Sit with this question for at least one hour… and let your imagination run wild. Quantum physics is proving that if you can imagine it, you can have it (in fact, you already do have it… which we’ll explore another time).
You might want:
A partner that you share a deep connection with
Financial freedom
The opportunity to turn your passion into a thriving business
A vacation to Egypt
Season tickets to your favorite sports team
I always wanted a big house in Los Angeles with a tennis court. When my wife and I manifested it, using the Subconscious Upgrade Method, we were more excited about the power of this method, and the proof that it works than actually having the house.
You can do the same. But remember one thing.
You have to be clear about exactly what you want.
If you ask for a new car, what kind of car is it? What color is it? How big is the engine? What’s the interior like?
If you want a romantic partner, what’s that person like? What are their values? What do they look like?
The clearer you are about the details of your vision, the more powerful your manifestation powers will be.
Subconscious Upgrade Meditation
In order to influence the subconscious mind, you must enter your “operating system”.
Research by Dr. Joe Dispenza shows that the way to do that is by slowing down your brain waves.
Basically you have 5 brain wave patterns:
Delta - Deep Sleep
Theta - This is the “twilight” state that you experience right after you wake up, and right before you fall asleep
Alpha - Relaxed concentration.
Beta - Waking consciousness
Gamma - Super consciousness
If beta is your brain wave state when you’re awake, alpha is a creative state where your analytical, thinking mind is suppressed. It’s where your inner world begins to feel more real than your outer world.
It’s also where you gain access to the Subconscious mind.
Here’s how you do it:
Put on some light meditation music (you can use Youtube, spotify, or any music you enjoy that won’t distract you)
Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath. Do this until you begin to feel your mind slow down.
Place your attention on the space around your body. This open focus automatically begins to slow your brain waves down
Once you are relaxed, this is where we can reprogram your subconscious mind.
Step 1: Call up the emotion that you want to unmemorize.
Step 2: Call up the thoughts related to that emotion.
Step 3: Experience these emotions and thoughts fully. Do this by imagining yourself in a situation where that negative emotion was triggered. Notice how you feel. Notice what you’re saying to yourself.
Step 4: In this state, make a decision that you are no longer going to be defined by that old programming. Say the word “Transform” outloud.
You need to do this with some passion and emotion. If you don’t feel this conviction in every cell of your body, you won’t be changing anything. You need to come out of your resting state and feel this intense desire to change.
Step 5: Now call up the image of your ideal future. Do this by imagining yourself in a situation where you are the person you want to be. Living the life that you want to live. Imagine it in all of it’s sensory detail. Use all of your senses to paint as lifelike a picture as you can.
Experience the emotions of your new future in the present moment.
The more powerful emotions you feel, the clearer the picture in your head, the more you are rewiring your brain, and reconditioning your body into this new future.
Step 6: When you hit a fevered pitch in this image. Release it. Give thanks for this new reality, and come out of your meditation.
4. Leverage Powerful, Personal Affirmations
Affirmations don’t work for most people, because they don’t do them correctly.
You must feel your affirmations emotionally.
This means they need to be personal.
Affirmations that work for me, might not work for you.
Write down 5-10 affirmations that represent you living your ideal future. They must be:
written in the present tense
Important to you, personally
Evoke powerful emotions
Be clear and concise
A bad example of an affirmation: I’m going to be wealthy one day.
A good example of an affirmation: I’m a multi-millionaire money magnet. Everything I touch turns to gold.
Say these affirmations to yourself, in front of the mirror with as much conviction as you can muster.
When you do this correctly, you are literally re-wiring your DNA.
5. Make Gratitude Your Dominant Emotion
You feel grateful when you receive something.
As we’ll soon discover together, the secret to manifesting your desires is combining a clear intention with powerful, elevated emotions.
You receive in life what you are primarily thinking and feeling.
So, if you’re practicing gratitude, you’re giving off the electromagnetic frequency of having already received. And the universe must reflect this back to you, by giving you surprises for you to be grateful for!
Every morning, before you get out of bed, tell yourself 5 things you’re grateful for.
Spend a few minutes basking in the feeling of having:
a comfortable bed
a healthy body
a beautiful day to look forward to
your kids
Your dog
Or anything else!
You’ll be shocked by what begins to happen in your world as a result of this.
Finally, I’d like to give thanks to you for reading this. If you know someone that will benefit from this information, please share this with them.
Talk to you next week,
Ramon